Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. 13. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Checklists & Reminders! Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. 98. I never even listen when you tell me them. 32. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. The hottest single of the year is me. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. 4. 77. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Hey, whered you get that nose? Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition 2. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Feel my shirt. This is a good response to throw out there. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. You don't need to say it. I'm used to it, anyway. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts Dave Barry (author). 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Still with us. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. 5. I cant really complain, but I will still try. Maybe I am a kindergartner? In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Socioeconomically? What could go wrong? funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. *Siri activates front camera*. Have you met food? 40. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. . How did you get here? 38. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. 86. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Congratulations, sir. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . 16. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com Thats because my crush is a fictional character. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. I learned my lesson. Scroll down! Chuck Bass? 75. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Could have been worse, right. What Can Be the Worst Epic Responses To I Love You? - Bonobology.com Do you really care? 57. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. I dont know. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. 3. Youre free to go. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. 71. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! How impressive! However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. 18. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. Are you going to help me have a good day? 54. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. At least my hair looks amazing. Ive had worse. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. 2. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. 1. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Usually, people live and learn. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Don Draper? Click here for additional information. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. So much better than most people. What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? (perfect for vegans). Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. No? 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Everything is always better on payday right!? Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. But it can be funny. 55. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . As for me, I cant even afford honey! 80. 60. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? 52. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. I havent met the right one yet. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. I am not sure what you mean. Dont wake me up yet. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. I dont feel that great, but look! It can be good to just say it how it is. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. This does not seem right. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Are you flirting with me right now? Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Reply. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Most of the time, that is not true. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. I love you. - Anonymous. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Now you can be! That's boyfriend material. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". [*clap your hands*]. Still, the ghosters ghost on. Want to equip yourself with more responses? You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends It's quite the accomplishment. Its going great, really! *sips wine/tea*. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Holy s**t, you can see me?! Is everything stable at your end? My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Liked what you just read? They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky Dont get caught with nothing to say. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. A real low-life. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Could be payday. I repeat I am plural! Thats why Im rooting for your penis. 99. You look tired. 97. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 2. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! So the next time someone asks you why you're still. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. We all grow up as we get older. He will be missed. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. It's impossible for things to be perfect. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Are you Jamaican? I suggest you do a little soul searching. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? Spiritually? 5. Me being single is just a conspiracy! Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Impressive! Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! This one kills me! So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Hopefully, youll stay there. Now that is pretty f****** funny. You might just find one. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Im not single. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Stop asking me why Im single! Best "How Are You?" Answers. You should really come with a warning label. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube Just Smile And Nod Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Congrats, guys! You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Youre a ground-hugger. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Physically? My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. 30. Why would he text me "Are you still alive?"? - GirlsAskGuys The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. It lets him know that you love spending time together. 6. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. funny response to are you still alive I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Ah, sarcasm. Living an amazing dream. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Im too expensive. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . My bad, its just your mouth. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. 6. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. "Still alive" is polite. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Thats because Im still waiting for you. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. 43. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. 9. Its too small to be out there all alone. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Why do you ask? And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Stupidity isnt a crime. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 82. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. 20. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. 11. That's impossible. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. 59. No, not really. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. 2. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. 62. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.

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