People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? q("i", arguments) Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. They own you. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? gads.async = true; Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. Source; . Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? " George Carlin 14. Religion class was always an easy class. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. } Stand-Up Comedy. return cookiePair[1]; return false; Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. gads.type = "text/javascript"; By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. born on May 12, 1937, We havent tried that for a while. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Electricity is really just organized lightning. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. } So arrogant. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. They own all the important land. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. Its because volunteers work for no pay. googletag.cmd.push(function() { George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. 3140. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Use your fucking heads! What do you get at the end of it? Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. BAM! 4994. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. }()); Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! They own everything. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They own everything. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. "https:" : "http:") + This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. They own you. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Its totally FREE. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. But he loves you. Theres no present. (function () { Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. " George Carlin Quotes Press Enter / Return to begin your search. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Its so f***ing heroic. Topics. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. } //]]> The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. }; Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. A Death! Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. " George Carlin 15. George Carlin. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); } Laugh often, long and loud. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? ! Creative Commons. 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I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Tax them. "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. ' George Carlin, 30. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin. 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